Living a Life of Purpose

Are any of you noticing how the shortening of our day is having an affect on your moods, your motivation, your diet, your relationships? Honestly, the only reason I still get up and out the door in the dark is because back in March I was gifted the extra time from the corona virus. Ok it was that and because our puppies are super cute and get SOO excited, especially when they know it’s WALK time.

I know for myself I feel more tired even though I’m getting the same amount of sleep, my attitude is good but not as cheery as when there was constant sunshine, my relationships are good but I need to work a little harder to ensure I’ve still got energy to give them at the end of the day.

Well I had a slap of reality just recently. I’ve been coasting lately, holding on to the sides of the raft and just trying to ride out this space of feeling tired and exhausted, thinking that once we gain an hour in the morning it will change. What I forgot to acknowledge is that when I get in this space/energy of trying to juggle it all, I have a tool that I can tap into. It’s the power of communicating my needs and asking for help.

Sounds pretty simple right? Well guess what, it’s not as easy as it sounds for a lot of people. Especially when you’ve taken on the role to keep all things running smoothly. It might be a role you hold at home, at work, in your volunteer group, with your siblings you name it. Once we take on this type of role it’s really hard to get out of it. Because let’s face it, it feels good to help others. We like being needed and wanted. But what happens when you need to take a break, who helps you? Because you play the role of helping others have you given yourself permission to ask for help, or to say no to others because your plate is already full?

Sometimes it’s the littlest of things that can make our plate full, like leaving for work in the dark and returning home in the dark, the lack of sunlight, the extra demands of homeschooling or adjusting our schedules so that we can still work and meet the needs of our family, perhaps you have elder parents or family that needs your help. It could just be that you and your partner are both working longer hours and you’re simply not getting enough time together to connect like you usually do.

When this happens I have to step back, push the pause button, so that I can look at all that is happening from afar toget a better perspective. Granted it’s hard to do in the heat of the moment when people are pressing you to give them an answer or need your help right away. So the first step is to just pause and take a deep breath. By taking several deep breaths you can take yourself out of the sympathetic (fight or flight mode) and get back into the parasympathetic mode (rest and digest mode).

After taking several, deep, relaxing breaths I do a little exercise. I ask myself “how do I want to feel?” Things that usually come up are; lightness, loved, appreciated, grateful, etc. Once I’ve been able to identify how I want to feel I then think of a few easy things that make me feel this way. The que that usually pops up is to give myself permission to raise the white flag and admit that I need help and then ask for it.

For you it might be to delegate a project and let go of the fact that it will be done differently than if you did it. But by delegating the task you have given yourself extra time so that you can perhaps take a few relaxing, cleansing breaths so that you can feel clear headed and restored.

As a parent we can teach our children to do some of the things that are on our long list of things to get done, at the end of a busy day. It could be you teach them to do laundry or asking them to make their own lunches. Yes of course it’s going to feel awful, and perhaps awkward at first but it also teaches your kids other things too. It teaches your kids that life takes team work, that it’s important to ask for help when you need it, that by them learning to do these things it actually is empowering and can give them a sense of accomplishment. Yes I know, they will probably add too much detergent and forget the fabric softener to the laundry and yes there will most likely be extra jelly on the sandwich and perhaps an extra snack added. But if you provide them with nutritious options to make lunches who knows they might get creative and surprise you.

When you volunteer, sometimes organizations think that you have all the time in the world so that you can give more because of this, but it’s ok to say “No” to them so that you can say “yes” to having lunch with girlfriends. By saying no to them you are saying yes to you to do something that lights you up and cares for you. Which, let’s face it, doing this is really important especially in these times.

So instead of letting daylight blues get the best of you, take a moment, pause, take several relaxing breathes and look at your situation from a different angle. See if there is a way to pivot and change your perspective so that you can still honor yourself and do the things that you committed to.

If you feel like your plate is full and this all sounds like a great idea, but you have no idea where to begin and feel like you would need help to get there, then I invite you to check out my website by clicking HERE. Read the New BodyMind Living Magazine (if you have a chance) and sign up for a free discovery call to see if their is a way that I can help you help yourself. Because let’s face it we have one life so let’s make it our best one!

When was the last time something like this happened to you? You had a appointment, you prepared, you were ready and on-time only to find out you’re the only one in the “virtual” meeting? Initially you ask yourself how long should I stay on the line, do I have the right number, do I have the right date and time. You check all the things and yes, you are at the right place, at the right time, but there is still nobody on the other end.

When life happens and we get ready and prepared to do our thing and when the other partner or parties don’t show up, how does that affect you? Do you look at it like “It’s going to be one of those days?” or do you take a step back, pause, smile and say thank you to the Universe?

More times than not, lately when I’ve had a busy schedule and feel like I’m running around hectically, that within 10 hours of all my craziness, someone will call and cancel an appointment. If this would have happened a year ago I would have gotten frustrated, because I was thinking about time spent or money lost, and frantically called my clients on my hold list to fill the now vacant spot. But now I look at it from a different perspective, one where the Universe has kindly pushed the paused button and told me to breath and enjoy the fresh air and get my head out of my busy work mode and look up and smell the roses.

When was the last time something out of your control simple pushed the master pause button on your plans? How did it feel when it happened? How did you react? How did it feel in your body? Want to learn how to shift from panic and stress to ease and lightness, bodymind coaching could be the tool for you.

Hi Everyone, Do you ever feel that life is simply against you? That no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t get things to go in your favor? Or perhaps you’re simply trying to cram in all the things that you need to get done, not only for yourself but for your family and loved ones. Perhaps they are things that you don’t feel you have a choice to say no to.

Well last week I had exactly one of those weeks, my partner had last week off, he said he was going to work on some house projects during the beginng of the week and then we were going to take the last few days of the week to visit a place he has longed to visit since we moved to WNY, Cooperstown’s Baseball Hall of Fame. So needless to say I had the dates marked off in my calendar and planned on working the first half of the week and then while traveling I was going to listen in on a work meeting and the then next day I would attend my training online and chat with and a client in the afternoon.

Do you ever get that feeling that once you’ve schedule time off, that’s when your needed most, or that’s when special projects are due, or something happens that needs your attention. Yup, you guessed it! I had a busy week already but for some reason my online scheduler allowed clients to schedule on “my set days off”. So once I realized this, my blood pressure went up, my body temperature increased and I had a feeling of panic. Why, because after promising my partner that we were going to Cooperstown I was not going to be the one to put a wrench in our plans.

Thankfully, I have wonderful clients and I was able to re-work my schedule by adding am hours and later evening hours to accommodate those already on my schedule. However, it did mean that the beginning of my week was super busy and crunched on time. In my prep for the morning I would say a silent prayer of “God, please help me get through this week.” Thankfully, I had a couple of cancellations, so my really busy schedule, turned into just a busy schedule actually allowing me time to breath between appointments.

Have you ever done this, had a schedule from He!! that seemed impossible before you even started? That you started to feel stressed and anxious before it even started? Why do we let ourselves get to this point?

For me, I was not going to let my partner down. Interestingly enough when we arrived at our Airbnb for our stay, there was no internet, which we later found out was due to a storm that swung through before our arrival, but the location and simply the place all together really did not work for us. So after all ready being stressed, we are on vacation at our destination and the place we are to use as our home base is not so homey.

“Breath Vickie, just breath” this was my mantra. We decided to make the best of it, we grabbed a bit out, reached out to the owners and tried to settle in for a good nights sleep. The owners were hard to connect with, we still had no internet and our set destination was 40 minutes away (location in the description was not as stated). So….. needless to say we headed towards our destination and found a park to enjoy the beautiful views where we could just breath and be thankful for what we did have. I had to skip my training that am, and while it frustrated me initially I simply had to listen to my intuition, we are on vacation, my partner is excited to be here, we are healthy and fortunate and stop trying to control things that are not meant to be. Taking the time to walk the pups, connect with my partner and laugh and enjoy the sights was exactly what I needed. Yes, I paid money for the missed course but ultimately I had a wonderful day sight seeing and spending time with my family doing the things that we love to do, so it was the better decision.

Does this ever happen to you? You take the time to make the plans, figure out the schedule, have a time line and then something outside of your control happens and all those grand plans simply have to get thrown out the window. How do you respond when this happens, do you “roll with the punches”? Typically I would say yes, I’m a roll with the punches kind of gal, but if I’m exhausted and didn’t get a good night and nobody else did well let’s just say this is hard.

Interestingly when I think back to when I was making the reservations I remember reviewing the property and getting a sense that this wasn’t the right place, my stomach just didn’t feel right, but because of location, the price and the fact that we could bring our kids Kuma (an American Eskimo) and Athena (an Lagotto Romagnolo) our options were limited. So I went with my logic, my head, and didn’t listen to my intuition and guess what… the property was not right for us.

Has this ever happened to you, you’ve had a decision to make, you make your list of the pro’s and the con’s and then you do the numbers and things seem to add up so you go with your logic instead of listening to your gut instinct that says no. Ok, you may be asking, what do you mean, when your body says “NO”?

We are wired with 3 different brains, we have our logic brain in our head, or magnetic brain in our heart, and our intuitive brain in our gut. Doesn’t it make sense to you to make decision using only our logic brain when we have access to 3 sources of information?

The challenge is being able to learn and interpret the information that we get from our magnetic brain (heart) and from our intuitive brain (gut). These other two brains do not have a connection to the part of the brain that has language so instead we need to understand what different feelings in our body mean.

For example, I know I need to say something, when I get a tight feeling in my throat. I have learned that this sensation is telling me to speak up. Another sensation I get, is when the hair on my arms stands up and I get instant goosebumps. This means I need to do the action that brought this on, it also means the same when a client mentions something and I get the same sensation.

These are just a couple of ways that I have deciphered the messages that my body is communicating to me. When I follow this guidance my days and plans go very smoothly and things that I have wanted more of, are magnetically drawn to me. This is what heart centered living is about, it’s about learning the language of your body so that you can make decisions that resonate and align for you. When you make decisions based on this information you will not have the universe work against you but for you.

If you’d like to learn more about BodyMind living then I invite you to schedule a discovery call to see if it’s a fit for you, or perhaps you have a loved one or friend that you think could benefit from this. Click here for more information. I’m looking forward to connecting with you.

What does authenticity mean to you? Let’s say there was a particular jewelry item that caught your attention, you like the attention to detail and it was something that just stood out for you. To add to this let’s say that you also know that you have a skin reaction to any metal material that is not “real” gold. So you inquire about the item, buy it and proceed to where it. If this item is gold you should not get any skin reaction and you will enjoy the item for years to come, but if for some reason it was not made of “pure” gold you start to notice that the area of skin that is in contact with it turns red, get’s itchy and uncomfortable and starts to swell. These are the signs that your body gives you to let you that you invested your money on a fake!

How authentic are you being each and every day that you wake up, interact with your family, and the world around you? Do you feel like you have to fake it in order to be likeable? Why is that? What would happen if you just showed up as you, the real deal?

These are the questions that I ask clients each and every day. Who is your authentic self, the one that really counts, the one that perhaps you don’t let out to play? Then I ask what is their seen self the person that they do show to everyone each and every day?

Yes, I know these are questions that can be hard to answer, not because you don’t know but because we are taught certain lessons in life, based on beliefs and values that have been handed down over the years from family and media etc.

As woman we learn from a young age that in order to be seen as attractive we need to have great skin, be thin, exercise, be quiet, helpful, and as a mom we learn that being selfless is the highest complement. I’ve had clients tell me that as child with 3 siblings they were told to go to their rooms whenever they started to disagree, so basically they couldn’t even embark on a lively discussion of who did what because they were punished and if they were punished it must of been because it was wrong. Well guess what, communication is a very primal thing in living things. Animals do it everyday, have you ever watched squirrels bicker over birds in a feeder or simply taunt one another? That’s how the world communicates! If you take that away then how are we suppose to live in harmony?

Ok, back to my point… what would happen if you were authentic? These are a few of the beliefs and rules that I grew up with that helped to shape my seen self. I was told to never let them see you sweat, dress professional but not provocative, it is always best to invest in education because it’s something that can never be taken away from you, being independent is best because then you don’t NEED anyone else. Mind you along with these beliefs life happened. So needless to say the person that I showed up as was happy, confident, fearless, strong, professional, independent, direct and to the point, serious, a workaholic and a fitness freak. I was an all or nothing type of gal. When I worked out I would push myself to compete in obstacle course races and the goal was always to beat my last time. I was my constant competition to be the best that I could be.

Some of that doesn’t sounds so bad, right? I had everything that everyone else had or wanted. I was married, had a nice home, had a great career, and I did the thing, I worked hard and played (worked out) harder. The reality of it is that I was constantly stressed, and since I was showing up as this fierce less person I was being asked to help others all the time, and I thought that I had to say yes all the time. So needless to say I was exhausted and had no energy left for myself. I was left juggling all the balls, while my family was left to go play and have fun while I picked up the mess and put everything back together so it could all happen again the next day.

I remember it hitting me one day. I had limited friends, the people we associated with were all my husbands friends, and we were friendly but they were not my friends. I had long time girlfriends but they had families and so we spoke only several times a year. I felt like I was on a island all alone when I was surrounded by a family of my own. I remember thinking how is it that I have all that I ever wanted and still feel the loneliest I’ve ever been?

That’s when I knew things had to change and I was desperate for that change to happen immediately! Like I only had so many days left of oxygen left before I would suffocate. My marriage wasn’t all bad, I cared for my husband and my step son dearly, but he feel in love with the person that I showed up as, not my authentic me. We struggled with communication and how to communicate our love to one another, we struggled with infertility and eventually closet alcoholism. There was a lot of denial and judgement going on and when the suggestion of therapy or having some spiritual influence was mentioned it was never taken as a serious or needed. So I folded, I waived the white flag in defeat and surrendered to it all, not as gracefully as I would have liked to, because I acted out and let my mouth get away from me at times and said things that I can not take back, but ultimately I knew that the only way I was going to survive was to get out!

So I admitted defeat, failure, I moved out of my home with very few items, I was no longer attached to material things I truly was simply trying to salvage myself and pick up the pieces and figure out where I went wrong and how to correct so that I would not make the same mistake again. I went to therapy which was good initially, I found a church, I forgave myself and others and then I started to do the hard work of trying to figure out who I really was so I could ensure I would never have an experience like that again.

Needless to say it’s been a process, I left my job of security and comfort that I had for 14 years to move to another state and start fresh. I had no idea what I was doing or how it was going to work out, but I did know that if I didn’t take a chance on me then I would never know, and I wasn’t ready to give up on me. So it was a bumpy road at first, I took contracting jobs doing the old work I had been doing, which would bump me back into that seen self, but it also gave me a sense of financial security. At the same time I was exploring being in a new place where nobody knew me, they had no preconceived notions of who I and the only things they would know would be what I put out there, so this was my chance to show up as the real authentic me.

I have to admit I didn’t necessary like this real me. I was not confident and I needed to learn to ask for help, which truly was foreign for me. I did like the fact that I could simply show up as me, not dressed professional just me in comfortable clothes, walking my dogs, saying good morning, enjoying a walk in the park and taking the time to actually observe nature around me. I wasn’t anybody to these people, so I didn’t have to seem like a pillar of strength, or be a resource instead I could explore and ask questions and learn more about myself.

I found that once I was able to show up as vulnerable and uncertain I could ask questions and not care or worry about being judged. I could breath easier, I was able to embrace relationships differently too, instead of putting on a front of that shiny object in the window, I was honest and upfront, I still put on my best me, but it was my best with my flaws uncovered. I’ve learned to embrace the things that make me who I am and in return I get to love each and every minute of every day.

I love my job as a BodyMind coach and massage therapist. I love being my own boss, and being able to create new things. I look forward to walking along side my clients as they do their work and evolve and learn new habits and patterns that better serve them.

I finally have a loving home, where honest conversation is an everyday thing. We show love, respect and kindness to each other and we have tough conversations when needed and we hold a sacred space that is safe and judgement free.

To show up as my authentic self is easier now, it feels light, natural and just freeing. I have less concern for how others feel about me. I’m a mess some days! Yes, honest to goodness, scattered, human, frustrated, emotional and you know what when I acknowledge this out loud and tell this to others, they don’t turn away or call me names, instead they typically let out a deep sign of relief and will smile a little or show a little emotion because you know what I’m much more relatable when I’m authentically me. They know I’m not going to judge them and that I hold a sacred space for them. This is my “magic sauce” it’s what makes me me and I just happened to be able to tap into it and connect it with my life purpose of helping people find themselves so that they can live their best life.

I’d love to hear your feedback on how you define authenticity and what it means to you and if you feel it has any purpose in your life? Perhaps it scares the crap out of you! I know it did me too. If it’s something that you’d like to explore and have some guidance on I’d love to connect with you. You can find my website at https://www.victoriacarrierlmt.org. sign up for a free discovery so we can chat.

Wishing you the best of all things, each and every day.

Hello Everyone,

Why am I here? I’m here because after many years I’ve finally discovered what my true life purpose is. It is to help people find their Truth, so that they too can live a life that is aligned with their unique awesomeness. But in order to do this I know that I must first be seen and share my story.

Living Life by My Rules

I simply have decided that I will not let social norms and beliefs and other peoples values dictate what and how I make decisions in my life, this has been a process, it is a process, but when I do this, I can honestly say that I know I’m on the right path.

I believe that we are unique, awesome beings, but sometimes we need to have a guiding light so that we can see it for ourselves, or some moment in time that truly scares the crap out of us, that tells us that if we do not change right now then we will die a slow painful death. For me it was an anxiety attack that I thought was a heart attack (more about this later).

The work I do as a BodyMind coach shines a light on what is possible in life. It gives you the tools to gain access to the 80% of information that our nervous system is sending to our pelvic girdle to help guide you to make decision that are in alignment with the amazing awesome, unique person that you are. The biggest trick is learning how to process this information because it does not get sent to the brain and translated into language that we can understand instead it comes in as a feeling in your pelvic girdle that you then need to decode and interpret.

My focus with this blog is to remind us all that we are all here for a purpose, there is something truly unique and amazing about each and every one of us. I’m here to help others tap into this if they have not yet and to give some guidance or support to those that are this journey.

My goal is to blog twice a month, on Thursday, some days will be short and sweet and well honestly it will really depend on what is happening in this crazy word. I hope to connect with other heart centered people, that are looking to live a life of purpose. The topics that I will cover include everything from being seen as an imperfect individuals in society with lots of judgement to simply living life in a simple, pure way free of judgement.

It’s great to be here! I’m really excited, a little scared, but truly grateful to be in a place where I can just be me. My intentions for my blog are to be real, to show up even if it’s going to be messy. Like everyone I have a life story that has gotten me this far and life is still happening (amen) for that. I intend to honor my core values of integrity, authenticity, playfullness, freedom, connection and grace. I’m hopeful that by being me we can engage in some conversations that will stimulate some thought that can then lead to more conversation.

Why am I doing this?

• Because I love connecting with people and I feel that my purpose in life is to help others find their amazingness so they can live fullfilling lives that align with their inner guidance.
• Because I think there is to much judgement and influences in society, media etc. that lead us in life that direct is a good direction but not the best direction for our ultimate happiness and success.

My intention here is to have a space that is free of judgement, where minds can be stretched to think outside of the norm, where getting back to the basics of connecting with self and wanting to be a better person that aligns with our inner compass.

Things I’ll be writing about?

• My personal life story, why? Because for the longest time I was the person who was afraid to speak up because I didn’t want to be wrong and be seen as not knowing the answer. This lead to me not using my voice and letting others speaking for me, which eventually led me to believe that others must know what I need more than I do. The scary part as a teenager, young adult I believed this, but know I’m certain that I can use my voice and speak up for myself and really know what is best for me based on my inner compass better than anyone else. So yes, now I will speak up and I encourage others to do so as well.
• Topics that come up in the media, new buzz words or old ones.

I’d love to connect with other individuals that are truly seeking out how to live their best life. Perhaps those that are wondering exactly what that is and what it looks like. People that are afraid to take the first step just like I was in the beginning, but have a want and need to do better than they are currently doing.

If I blog successfully throughout the next year, I hope that I will be able to connect with individuals that are looking for different ways to show up, for themselves, their families, their employees or co-workers.